Dark Night of the...Ego?

The concept of the Dark Night of the Soul was first written about by 16th Century Spanish Catholic priest, mystic, and a Carmelite friar of converso origin St. John of the Cross. And St. Teresa of Avila wrote of her own harrowing experience extensively in “The Interior Castle.” More recently, author Thomas Moore and others have written about this existential wilderness/spiritual despair rite-of-passage experience.

A true Dark Night of the Soul is a trial like no other. In it’s most acute moments, it can feel like madness. In essence, it is a madness. Albeit, a particular form and flavor—distinct from what’s ordinarily associated with schizophrenia or other unspecified psychosis, which may or may not contain spiritual preoccupations and/or delusions, but is not spiritually inspired/directed in the way a true Dark Night of the Soul is considered to be.

Maddening as it is, on the upside, it becomes a great light as The Divine shatters our attempts to control our own spiritual life— arguably, the central ‘problem’ that this experience aims to address.

But, is it truly a Dark night of the Soul?

leggo my ego

While probably aptly named given the times and context in which St. John and St. Teresa lived and suffered— long before the advent of anything much resembling psychology— the term itself has been declared a misnomer, and re-designated by some as Dark Night of the Ego.

Why ego?

Well, even the original mystics saw the phenomenon as an attempt by the Divine to break through our self-imposed suffering/darkness via the shackles of the control-hungry lower self (arguably synonymous with the more modern conception of ego) to let the light of Higher Self/Truth shine through, first bringing us to our proverbial or literal knees to elicit a thorough surrender, and thus, initiate our highest union with God.

I both agree and disagree with the reframe. And this is reasonable and reconcilable in my view as we’re in the land of paradox whenever we attempt to codify mystical or spiritual experiences containing largely ineffable phenomena that words often fail to capture. And in which the ‘truth’ of what’s being experienced is both highly subjective and very often a quantum both/and rather than this /or/ that.

The part of me that agrees with the Dark Night of the Ego conception is the part of me that believes to my core that our soul, as it were, is fine. No matter what. Always fine. Here I’m meaning the soul as synonymous with our spirit, our Higher Self or Larger Self, and even inextricably linked to the Oversoul and/or Cosmic Consciousness.

In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, the multiplicity of mind-oriented model that’s the primordial roux of my view of the psyche, and well as the fundamental premise of my Subconscious Heal and Release® Energy Psychology process, this multiplicity, or polypsychism, is the implicit operating assumption.

IFS views the Larger Self (or just Self) the enduring, eternal, undamaged core of who we are, despite even the most devastating trauma or pain we may have endured. In this model, ‘parts” of us—subpersonalities— hold the pain, manage and protect the pain, as distinct from Self. Parts can become polarized, perform extreme functions, and become highly disharmonized with each other. But the Self remains pure and whole as it always was.

So from this standpoint, even amidst the deepest well of darkness, the soul, spirit, or Larger Self, remains perfectly intact.

The part of me that wants to disagree with the reframe is the part that respects the ancient mystics and sees reverence in the original designation that flowed from such intense spiritual despair, forsakenness and suffering as being essentially a battle for our soul and triumph over lower nature, ego, and/or what dark forces may archetypally, generationally/ancestrally, culturally or even interdimensionally conspire to shroud us in the darkness, ever-far from the Light of The Divine-based “leveling up” that our soul/spirit yearns for.

What’s more, when the Dark Night enters, all of us is effected. All of us is involved, one way or another. Our soul, our Larger Self may in fact, be fine. But it’s not separate from the rest, so it must be, in some way, going through it with us.

In the end, as with everything in the realm of the Mysterium Tremendum, such distinctions are probably ultimately meaningless. So there’s that :>

spiritual Emergency

Worth mentioning is the related experience of what in the 80’s was termed Spiritual Emergency by the pioneering transpersonal psychiatrist Stanislov Grof. A more modern conception, spiritual emergency is in some sense the inversion of a Dark Night, as it’s a psycho-spiritual phenomenon that usually begins with an energetic upsurge, with or without kundalini activation, or what’s been termed “transpersonal elation.” There’s a sense of energy center activation, expansion, heightened perception and spiritual vision or understanding that can be as pleasant as a bi-polar manic phase, and just as dangerous if experienced in the absence of discernment, solid navigation skills, and grounding. Darkness can and usually does enter the fold, but that often comes mid-way or later through the process when the “emergency” portion begins to give way to “emergence.” (If and when it doesn’t, it may be an indication of more mental health/psychological crisis than psycho-spiritual emergence. But that’s a whole ‘nother post).

There are some modern spiritual teachers who liken spiritual emergencies to nothing more than “the ego throwing a tantrum.” That may be itself, ironically, an ego-based perspective. Because, who can truly know what another’s experience is or is not? Whether this definition is received as dismissive, humorous, partially or fully accurate, or a total unappreciation or misunderstanding of complicated dynamics, that’s up to each us to determine, I suppose. I think there’s something to this characterization, a grain of truth perhaps. Certainly there’s value in considering the ways in which the egoic mind can become rather tenacious when it senses an emerging loss of control. But it’s a rather narrow definition, at least. Hard to argue that.

my own rodeo

As I’ve shared about here and discussed at length on some podcasts which can be found here, my own whirlwind Dark Night was a fucking doozy. Looking back, I can relate to the ego tantrum aspect. My ego attempted to steer me way wrong, for sure. Away from that which would see the journey through in the best and healthiest of ways. In other phases, it felt like my soul was fracturing; hanging on for dear life as pain raged forth and inexplicable confusion and despair took over.

Yet deep down, all the while there was a knowing that my essence—call it soul, spirit, Higher or Larger Self, was actually fine; that there was a multi-level breaking down and restructuring was taking place, akin to the ‘psychic dismemberment’ experience that’s part and parcel of the so-called shamanic illness.

Surrendering and supplicating daily, meditating through the pain, taking insanely long walks in the woods and many other supports carried me through. Ultimately, direct intervention from palpable spiritual forces came to answer my call. Darkness slowly evaporated. Hope, intense gratitude and an entirely new leg of the journey began. One, in my case, was marked by the receiving of unexpected spiritual gifts (claircognizance/clairsentience), regular communion with various multidimensional energies, masters, saints, sages and collectives, and other awe-inspiring unfoldings. Many of which are still, years later, in progress.

To what end, I truly don’t yet know. I may never. But my faith has never been stronger.

There are universal and idiosyncratic personal elements to every crisis, including the Dark Night. (“That which is most personal is most universal”). There are the aspects, usually on the mood dysregulation/emotional/mental health level that everyone who finds themselves in this particular wilderness will encounter. Yet we all go through these waves our own way, too. We respond from our own conditioning, our past trauma, from our innate resilience level, our character structure and level of spiritual advancement at the time. Then there are the uniquely personal elements of the spiritual/existential portion of the crisis/rite of passage that’s as unpredictable as varied as anything.

One thing I know, from professional and personal experience, is that any darkness, including that which qualifies as a Dark Night, responds well to consistent, fervent prayer/affirmations/decrees, faith, patience, trust, hope, community and qualified professional support.

It takes a village, which often necessitates the guidance of an experienced professional to get through it and integrate it properly. This is specifically what I offer via Spiritual Support through the psycho-spiritual assessment, exploration and integration specialty I call Support for Extraordinary Experience® (SEE).

Assistance is available

If you or someone you know is experiencing a spiritual or spiritually-themed existential crisis, spiritual emergency/emergence process or bona fide Dark Night, I have years of experience seeing people through the rough waters, recognizing and integrating the often remarkable gifts that flow from successful navigation. I’m a member of the Association for Spiritual Integrity, the American Center for the Integration of Spiritually Transformative Experiences and other professional organizations and communities that exist to help support people through the entire range of mystical, non-ordinary or otherwise potentially spiritually transformative experiences.

If you’re looking for a spiritually aware and qualified Nashville Therapist or Therapist in Franklin TN, visit me at: Therapy Outside the Box or email me at chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com or call me at 615.430.2778.

I’m also available for consultation the world over virtually via Telehealth/Video.

If we are “aligned” according to spirit/my higher guidance to do so, it would be my honor to assist you!

PAX,

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

Somatic IFS + Higher Guidance = MAGIC

The traditional wisdom in the psychotherapy world is that real change is generally slow going. “Ah ha!” moments, and shifts of all kinds small and large can and do happen. And sometimes wild, even mystically-flavored breakthroughs can come about at any time. But generally, for any human struggle with legs, tangible progress in therapy is considered a slow and steady wins the race-type journey. And a mostly unpredictable one at that, no matter what type or what methods are being applied. And there’s real truth in this. Because, as hungry and ready for change as we might be, we all have parts of us that are wary of it, that fear it; that resist the unknow.

All of us, period. Full stop.

My experience has also shown me time and again that the more urgency to change we have, the more severe the resistance there is lurking in the shadows, ready and waiting to sabotage that change.

Because parts of us have agendas, while for the most part, the Self does not.

Paradox.

IFS Paradigm Shift

This is where the Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy model is, in my view, a real gift. Because change can happen much faster in the internal world than the outer. In other words, just talking about our problems, talking about change, or engaging cognitive-only interventions…versus taping and utilizing the body-based knowing, going within and making direct access to the very parts of us that hold the story— the truth of the pain— and working with those parts to safely release those burdens? No contest.

Flowing from the philosophy of Multiplicity of Mind, IFS presupposes that parts with various beliefs, agendas and ideas of their own exist in all of us. IFS normalizes and safely introduces us to our internal parts, or ‘subpersonalities’ in ways we haven’t known before. From a position of acceptance (the prerequisite of all true change), curiosity and compassion, we turn inward with a reverential attitude, welcoming ALL parts of us— from the youngest, most vulnerable carrying the deepest pain, to the potentially most aggressive, punchy, hypervigilant parts hell bent on protecting us, even in the most self destructive of ways.

There are no problems in living that cannot be addressed using the IFS approach. PTSD, childhood emotional traumas, depression, anxiety, codependency, addictions, intimacy blocks, shame, low esteem, abundance barriers, you name it. Because these syndromes are understood as parts of us with a story, either carrying the pain of trauma, managing and protecting those parts, or parts whose function it is to sound the alarms when the most vulnerable parts threaten to flood the Self System.

When IFS is mindfully and intentionally approached with a heightened somatic awareness, it’s even more potent, more alive, and potentially even faster. Faster in that the deeper, more visceral the felt-sense experience of meeting our parts in an embodied way, the sooner we can get into the real meat and potatoes of what the approach is about: the unburdening of our “exiles” (generally our youngest “inner child” parts holding the deepest pain), relieving them of their original “burdens” (a combination of emotional pain and extreme beliefs), helping them to adopt new, updated functions to play in the Self system, increasing harmony amongst our parts, and ultimately freeing up additional “Self Energy.”

To become more and more “Self” led is the true penultimate goal from the IFS perspective. The Self being defined as the true essence of who we are— the larger, undamaged, infinitely whole Self, characterized by what its creator, Dr. Richard Schwartz calls the 8c’s:

Compassion, Calm, Curiosity, Clarity, Confidence, Compassion, Creativity, and Connectedness.

(When’s the last time you felt any of these?)

In short, when we feel and act from any of these states or qualities, we know we are in our Self. We are Self led. Anything else, we can be sure there’s a part (anger, fear, disgust, etc) in the driver seat.

There’s also Dr. Charles Bonner’s nice addition: The 5P’s:

Playfulness, Patience, Presence, Perspective and Persistence.

(When’s the last time you felt any of THESE?)

There’s so much more to IFS, notably the relational component of how it’s conducted, which places great emphasis on the therapists being acutely somatically aware and inhabiting their own Larger Self during the process. Being originally trained as an interpersonal/relational therapist, this is part (no pun intended) of why I took to IFS so swiftly once I became aware of it, back in 2006 or so.

It’s inherently a two-person, relational therapy.

somatic (i.e. soma--the body)

I’ve been familiarizing myself with the many creative offshoots of IFS, notably Susan McConnel’s Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy: Awareness, Breath, Resonance, Movement and Touch in Practice. This prolific author and practitioner beautifully expounds upon and enriches IFS to include a multi-dimensional embodied, and acutely trauma-aware approach that leaves virtually no stone unturned as far as what’s possible with this model at the root.

The term somatic, hardly new, has become increasingly associated with trauma. Especially as recent neuroscience advances have led to more and more ‘trauma-informed’ therapy models, somatic and trauma have become intertwined, for better or worse. Better because awareness has increased in the pubic consciousness as to the prevalence of trauma and its effects on us individually and collectively. Worse, perhaps, because there emerges a tendency to view nearly every human expression, habit, pattern, or quirk of behavior as a trauma response.

(Spend enough time on Instagram, you’ll see what I mean).

While there are countless ways and methods of addressing and healing our little t or big T traumas in a therapeutic context, always more than one way to skin a cat. And while no one method or approach speaks to all, the theoretical basis of IFS is so inherently simple and intuitive there’s hardly a child that cannot understand its implicit assumptions. I mean, who doesn’t understand, and who hasn’t thought or said:

“There’s a part of me that…”

And we all have a body, right? So with the addition of an intentional, mindful somatic emphasis to an already relational and highly intuitive therapy approach, you might think, how could it get any better?

enter higher guidance

As I’ve revealed and described elsewhere on this site, I ‘came online’ with a direct connection to higher guidance via non local consciousness and my ‘spirit team,’ so to speak, out of a proufound Dark Night of the Soul/Awakening phenomenon a few years back. I’m still integrating and seeing through the ongoing spiritual emergence, near daily sub/superconscious-level downloading, and ostensible ongoing initiation/preparation for some kind of multidimensional channeling that’s flowed from this experience. Or so it seems.

This guidance, that comes through most automatically as a binary YES/NO via involuntary head movement, like an auto-kinesiological muscle testing, along with occasional quiet bursts of intangible insight, mental, quasi-visual impressions, and even more occasional blasts of ‘inner vision,” qualifies I suppose as a kind of claircognizance/clairsentience.

This capacity, not without it’s challenges, is my main weapon (for peaceful purposes) in the Energy Healing method I’ve named Subconscious Heal and Release® —a somatic, energy psychology and solution-focused approach to quickly identify, heal and release the ‘energetic signatures’ of subconsciously-held traumas, limiting beliefs, and trapped emotional energies that keep us out of alignment with our goals and dreams.

However, as part of my general therapy arm— Integrative Counseling— I’ve been experimenting, with great success, with applying this higher guidance to intuitively direct the process of my Internal Family Systems work.

And it’s kinda fucking magical.

To have the privilege of utilizing this access to the ‘Cosmic Reservoir’ (As William James called it) that contains all the information that ever existed/exists, and bring that through in the service of guiding healing, embodiment, unburdening of pain and outdated beliefs, creating harmony amongst parts, and aligning with Higher/Larger Self…what beats that?

Not much, if you ask this therapist.

curious? ready to heal?

If you’re looking for a Somatic Therapy experience, or have wanted to test drive Internal Family Systems Therapy, or just seeking a Nashville Therapist or a Therapist in Franklin and want to learn more about what I offer, visit my website at Therapy Outside the Box or email me at chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com or call me at 615.430.2778 to set up a FREE 20 MIN PHONE CONSULT.

I also have some services available virtually the world over via Telehealth/Video.

Peace, Parts, and Embodiment—

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Franklin, TN

Empathy > Narcissism

It’s been said that the information age helped create, or ushered us into the age of narcissism.

With the advent of social media in particular, for all its virtues, we’ve certainly seen an exceptionally self(ie)-focused collective personality emerge from the shadow of the collective, haven’t we?

Has it made narcissists of us all? I wouldn’t say that.

Yet, clearly it doesn’t always bring forward our best.

And aren’t we seeing this echoed on the world stage? As a culture, I feel we’ve passively encouraged increasingly outrageous, dehumanizing, and dangerous online behavior, such that consistent legal challenges have emerged with respect to what constitutes hate speech, bullying, and the like.

Wasn’t Former Presidential advisor Steve Bannon just banned for life from Twitter for inciting beheadings?

And lest we forget 45 essentially lit the match of his political popularity by trolling 44, igniting a firestorm of shadow-dwelling white nationalism and other warped, anti-social, hate-based ideologies in the process.

But I digress. Sort of.

If it’s true that the information age begot the age of narcissism, we do now, thankfully, seem to be on the cusp of a shift. I’m wanting to believe that.

45’s out. That appears true at the time of this writing. Though no one half-awake expects him to bow out gracefully, and I doubt he’s gong anywhere. And neither is the bigger problem, 45-ism, in my opinion. But that’s another post.

Here’s the thing.

It was always easy to paint 45 as a narcissist. Ridiculously easy. Very few (convincingly) denied that he appeared to meet most if not all the professional criteria by simple observation of his own remarkably consistent, remarkably horrible words and actions.

Now, I’m biased, I admit. Growing up on Long island, 45 minutes from Manhattan, the never-ending stories of his scamming, threatening, evading, bullying, defrauding, lecherousness, and generally anti-social behavior (not to mention his vicious, flamingly racist and baseless indictment of the Central Park Five) had me intuitively conclude long ago that narcissism was surely present, yes, but only the surface of a deep disturbance that’s since been conjectured about extensively since.

As for him personally, he is who he is. And he is worthy of empathy no less or more than anyone else.

I repeat, he is worthy and deserving of empathy.

Admittedly, that’s a lot easier for me now that he no longer possesses the power of leadership he neither deserved nor was capable of wielding properly, in my opinion.

But I focus on this here because I view (the rise of) 45 as a symbol and sign of the times—a mirror reflection of the point at which we’ve come as a culture, as a people. And by this I mean a people nearly inspirable from the digital avatars we’ve merged with.

10 seconds into the first recent Presidential debate evidenced this pretty well.

No decorum. No civility. No respect. No substance.

A lot like we see in ourselves online today.

I thought it was a promising sign that most folks on seemingly all sides decried it outright.

So if 45 was the figurehead; the bursting pimple on the collective narcissistic forehead of America, and he’s not to return to the throne, I presume (I pray) there’s only one direction we can head.

The direction of empathy.

Why do I say?

Back to narcissism for a minute. A little primer…

Think of narcissism in the broadest terms by first understanding that there is healthy narcissism. It’s in all of us; from a developmental stage where it’s essentially all about “me!” that we enter once it dawns upon us that we are actually a separate being from Mommy.

“I’m ready for my due, world, here I am”

When successfully navigated by caregivers, by “good enough" parenting (in the words of the famous child psychiatrist Donald Winnicott,) then this stage naturally gives over to the emergence of empathy- of cooperation, give and take, humility, of the beginnings of intimacy (in-to-me-u-see) and other such pro-social traits.

When this stage is not successfully resolved, when there are severe, especially prolonged frustrations, when healthy narcissistic mirroring needs are met with responses like consternation and dismissiveness, unhealthy shame ignites.

That’s where the trouble starts.

Those who appear to develop real problems in their self-concept, unable to successfully resolve the early narcissistic rite of passage, may develop real deficits in pro-social relating whereby its difficult- sometimes perhaps impossible- to see others as separate, sovereign beings existing for reasons other than to provide narcissistic gratification to oneself.

There’s a mere snapshot of how healthy narcissism turns dark, malignant, and functions as a grand (though ever-so-shaky) defense against core-level shame and self hate. By conforming to its opposite: grandiosity, entitlement, omnipotence.

A house of cards personality.

And so if narcissism is in essence a master defense against a most insecure and unstable sense of self, as many others before me have argued, and if our American Humpty Dumpty of a figurehead just fell and can’t be put back together; if The Great Oz has been revealed to be a cavernously empty power hungry man-child emperor without clothes, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing, and if he is essentially mirroring us, then where do we go from here?

Culturally, and collectively, I say we now have a chance to see ourselves for who we really are.

To remember who we really are.

To wake up.

Yes, Narcissus has a chance, yet again, to gaze into the fabled stream and see himself for who he truly is. A perfectly imperfect, fallible yet still infinitely loveable, whole human being. Essentially worthy, loved, loveable, and interconnectedly inseparable from the whole.

As the ancient wisdom and spiritual traditions teach, there is no “I.”

We are each other.

We are fragments, fractals of the whole of creation. Of The Divine.

Perhaps, as Americans, it’s our chance yet again to see our brother as ourselves. To be our brother’s keeper. To treat they neighbor as thyself, and all that good stuff.

And to Rise Strong, as Brene’ Brown would say.

Poetic Justice perhaps that Ole Uncle Joe is taking the helm. Love or hate him, agree or disagree with him, see a Saint or Sinner in him, or care not either way, there’s an interesting near-consensus that he possesses one thing in abundance.

You guessed it: Empathy. Genuine empathy.

And that means, as far as the mirror theory goes, that it’s still there in us. We haven’t completely lost our way in the U.S.A.

As far as Ole Joe, I suspect he probably always had it; that his early developmental stages were more or less successfully navigated. If not, then I guess there’s nothing like multiple tragic losses of loved ones to drive it home that you are not the center of the universe, lest there was any doubt.

For every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction.

Law of Polarity.

Cause and effect.

Law of karma.

The pendulum swing.

However you slice it, makes sense to me that we’ve found ourselves here, America.

Empathy. It’s got my vote.

If you’re interested in learning more about me (“ME!, ME!, ME!”) please visit Therapy Outside the Box for more information on the services I offer, including Energy Healing, Spiritual Healing, and Integrative Counseling.

A FREE 20 Minute Consult by phone is always available. Call 615.430.2778 or email me at chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com or send a message through the website contact form.

Services offered via Telehealth/Video (two of them available worldwide) during this time of COVID-19.

Peace to You and Yours,

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Wounded Parts, Whole Self

Have you ever heard yourself thinking, or said: “There’s a part of me that…”

Have you ever had, for example, an acute pain response, be it physical (acute injury) or emotional (shock, grief, panic), and recall there being a part of you that was observing or witnessing yourself experiencing the pain without being affected by it?

I bet you have. We all have. Unless we’re disproportionately out of touch with our inner being, our body-based knowing, we all intuitively recognize that we are, essentially, multiple.

Yes, multiple.

Psychologically speaking, we’re both one and many.

It seems the human psyche is a labyrinth of different, separate yet connected parts. Parts that are indelibly shaped and conditioned by all our experiences, our social environment/important others, as well as all the traditions, spoken and unspoken rules, norms, and taboos of the cultural context out of which we arise.

Yet, we all have a singular, unified essence. And arguably, there’s ultimately just One Mind of which we’re all but parts—ever connected to the All That There is.

“The total number of minds in the Universe is One”

Erwin Schrödinger

Now Schrödinger, an adherent to the philosophy of Advaita Vedanta, referred to the concept of multiplicity as simply “apparent,” as if to further illustrate his One Mind concept cited above. (Welcome to the paradox of it all).

The core of multiplicity stems from Multiplicity of Mind theory, of which there’s both a philosophical and a psychological arm. The (modern) theorist most notable for going to town on the psychological side is undoubtedly Dr. Richard Schwartz, PhD, developer of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy.

In short, IFS is a model that proposes we all have what he calls a Self, or a “Larger Self.” And we all have what he simply calls “parts.”

(Have you seen the wonderful Pixar film “Inside Out?” Schwartz’ IFS model was the blueprint!).

The Self, in Schwartz’ view, is our true, untouched, infinitely whole essence. This is our ever-connected, innocent and beautiful core state, akin to what complementary models call the “Wise Mind, or “Wiser Self,” synonymous with eastern spiritual conceptions of the Higher Self, Soul or Spirit.

Our parts he views as subpersonalities, split off from the Larger Self, often polarized (at odds) with each other, and all playing important roles and carrying out specific functions for us, for better or worse— though he posits that our parts are always trying to help us. ot always in the best ways mind you, but in the only way they know how.

Basically, the more difficult the childhood, the more parts we have, according to Schwartz.

To me, it’s no wonder the progressive spiritual community at large has adopted the concept. Many life, spiritual, and transformational and coaches seem to have adopted the idea of “parts work.”. In creating IFS, Schwartz went headlong into the treasure trove of eastern spiritual literature to flesh out his concept of The Self, which greatly shaped his utterly intuitive and relatable model. Strangely though, I have yet to come across one noted (public) spiritual teacher or coach that credits Schwartz, references IFS, or any of the precursor psychological schools of thought that incorporated multiplicity in their models. In contrast, I see many speaking about “parts work” as if it were their own conception. And I shudder to think how many people become unnecessarily and/or inadvertently triggered by well-meaning but insufficiently prepared teachers or coaches doing parts work with folks who’ve been severely traumatized.

But I digress.

Schwartz identifies three groups/types of parts—exiles (the youngest, most wounded and vulnerable parts of us), managers (who help protect exiles), and firefighters (parts that spring into action [often consequential, as in wild spending, drug use, unsafe sex, etc] when managers becoming overwhelmed in their function and the system is perceived to be threatened with overwhelm, or what Schwartz calls “flooding”).

Having studied IFS and many of it’s precursors [ego state therapy, transactional analysis, psychosynthesis, and others) since 2005, and incorporating it into my work, I have to say I adore IFS for its non-pathologizing and utterly hopeful stance on human nature, the psyche, meatal health, and how we can all heal, grow and evolve.

Because, from the IFS perspective, there is nothing wrong or broken about us. There is nothing broken. Nothing to “fix.”

We can heal. We can create harmony amongst our parts, unify and inhabit our Larger Self.

How beautiful is that?

Healing in this regard means, essentially, de-fragmenting; creating harmony and integration with and among our parts. It means helping our parts to take on new, updated, more helpful roles and functions better aligned with our present day hopes and goals, as well as getting to sense, feel, and inhabit our Larger Self state as much of the time as possible. Schwartz says we know we’re in our Self (Self-Led) when we feel things like, calmness, centerdness, connectedness, clarity, creativity, and compassion.

Now, here’s where I branch off.

IFS, in practice, the way Schwartz and other teaches it, I’ve found to be a bit laborious, cumbersome, hard to track. So I use IFS—the multiplicity concept at the root, specifically— more integratively, along with other ideas and methods, both as part of my Integrative Counseling specialty, and my Energy Healing (Subconscious Heal and Release®) approach. This approach of mine blends IFS at the foundation, along with subtle energy psychology (ep), somatic, mindbody therapy, a solution focused outcome-oriented focus, utilizes Spiritual Science of the Spoken Word, and kinesiological muscle testing combined with a claircognizant/clairsentient ability. I find to be a faster, cleaner and more efficient way of “unburdening” our parts, creating unity with the Self, and aligning with all we truly wish to do, achieve, feel, and experience.

There are, as they say, more ways than one to skin a cat.

If you’re seeking a Nashville Therapist or Franklin Therapist, and are interested in a multiplicity-minded integrative counseling experience, and/or rapidly releasing old trauma, limiting beliefs and trapped emotions through my Subconscious Heal and Release® approach, please visit me at Therapy Outside the Box or call me directly at 615.430.2778 to set up a FREE 20 Minute Phone Consult, or email me: chris@therapyoutsidethebox.com.

I am available virtually worldwide via Secure Video/Telehealth, and on a case by case (COVID-19) basis in my home office in Franklin, TN.

Peace to you and yours,

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Spiritual Crisis in a Time of Spiritual Crisis

Are you experiencing a spiritual crisis? How do you know? What characteristics, emotions, thoughts, behaviors, sensations, or even dreams paint the picture for you?

Are you unclear if what you’re experiencing is genuine? Do you question it? Are you questioning…everything?

(Do you secretly fear you’re…(drum roll)…going crazy?)

In my experience, chances are, you’re not crazy in the slightest. You just don’t have a framework for understanding what you are experiencing, especially if it’s a true spiritual crisis.

Both personally and professionally, what constitutes a personal spiritual crisis (which can be and mean many different things) is a matter of idiosyncratic/subjective experience, belief, perspective, one’s bio-psycho-social environment, spiritual or religious affiliation of lack thereof, and of course, culture, as such crisis are always culture-bound. Meaning, what in one culture would be considered a bona fide spiritual crisis might, in a another, be looked at (and probably labeled) a moral failing, such as having “imperfect faith.”

At the time of this writing, the world itself, arguably, is in global spiritual crisis. COVID-19, shutdowns, quarantines, racial violence and tensions at a max, never more divisive politics, protests, riots, etc. All the makings of the classic, archetypal process of birth/destruction/rebirth in full swing destruction mode! So, if on the personal level we find ourselves in the proverbial wilderness, experiencing an unusual (for us) darkness, how do we determine if this is a “from without” or “from within” generated crisis? And how much does that even matter? (And it’s probably both anyway!) These are some of the questions I encounter daily as I walk with folks struggling to make meaning of what’s happening, with themselves and the world at large.

I do not claim to have the answers, and it’s precisely these types of hard to pin down, “Both/And”experiences that ultimately defy neat and tidy categorization, let alone neat and tidy solutions. But even before and part from Coronavirus and all its ramifications became our new reality, I’ve been working with people on mental health challemnges that very often could be re-framed as fundamental spiritual crisis. Folks dealing with depression and anxiety in particular—again, inseparable from the social environment and cultural factors—are often in fact really people steeped in spiritual crisis—feeling existentially confused, lost, alone, forsaken, unable to access their intuition and recognize the nature of the spiritual guidance always available to us all.

You might find it surprising that the characteristics of a spiritual crisis are nearly identical to that of clinical depression. The hallmark difference is that a spiritual crisis [showing up as symptoms of depression] is a crisis of the soul. It’s a deeper. far more meaning-laden suffering. It takes a keen eye and broader lens to account for all possible factors that influence and exacerbate suffering not directly attributable to any obvious situational factors. Even though such factors— a divorce, sudden death of a loved one, or many other traumatic experiences can themselves be triggers for Dark Nights of the Soul or spiritual crisis states in general.

And this is to say nothing of the more acute catalysts for spiritual crisis that come in various forms of what we call potentially Spiritually Transformative Experiences (pSTEs).

Things like:

• Shamanic crisis/illness: a form of identity crisis where the individual experiences drastic changes to their meaning system (their unique purpose, goals, values, attitudes, beliefs, identity, and focus).

• Kundalini awakening: according to Tantra traditions, kundalini energy rests like a coiled serpent at the base of the spine. When this dormant energy flows freely upwards through the seven chakras (energy centers) it leads to an expanded state of consciousness. Such acvtivationscan be latent and slow, or sudden and acute, often leading to crisis states.

• Past-life experiences: in past life regression, people experience detailed memories of other lives, often taking place in historic or indeterminate points in time.

• Near-death experience: an unusual experience taking place on the brink of death, and recounted by a person on recovery. Typically an out-of-body experience or a vision of a tunnel of light.

• Episodes of unitive consciousness: a unitive, mystical experience is usually characterized by a state of ‘oneness’ that transcends sensory or cognitive apprehension. There is often an ineffable certainty that ultimate truth has been perceived and can be applied to one’s life.

• Psychic opening: the experience of having extrasensory perception (ESP) to identify information hidden from the normal senses (clairvoyance, claricognizance, clairaudience, or even telepathy for example).

• Possession states and experiences with the paranormal: the experience of being controlled or dominated by perceived malevolent spirits or encounters with energies or entities existing “beyond the veil.”

• Psychological renewal through return to center: the experience of dramatic, synchronistic sequences that involve enormous energies and occur on a scale that makes one feel as they are at the center of events that have global or cosmic relevance.

• UFO encounters and abductions: subjectively real experiences of being kidnapped by non-human entities.

• Channeling or communication with spirit guides, Angels, Ascended Masters etc: the experience of serving as a medium between perceived spirit and material worlds.

• Drug addiction and alcoholism: both considered complex biopsychosocial diseases affecting the mind, body and soul/spirit.

These and other similar experiences can upend ones life and relationships is dramatic and permanent ways. Proper evaluation, exploration, and integration work is key in understanding and making meaning of these types of events and experiences for which our “consensus reality” does not provide a framework. But just as often, spiritual crisis are less dramatic. Quieter, More insidious, and ever prone to being misunderstood, mislabeled, misdiagnosed, judged, and medicalized, even by well-meaning mental health and psychiatric professionals who lack the worldview, interest, sensitivity, and/or experience to know what to look for and how to discern and differentiate mental health conditions from genuine spiritual crisis. And so often, there’s overlap. These are not often distinct, disparate experiences.

I for one, am hopeful for us all and for what’s going on in the world. If we are truly in the classic destruction stage as a species, then rebirth is on its way, and the preponderance of spirituals crisis, both within and without, is an indicator if this.

We are, on the whole I believe, awakening.

Perhaps, as a result, we will move into more communitarian, simplified, spiritual and soul-based living practices—ways of being and interacting with one another that foster greater mind-body-spiritual health, personal and cultural integration.

As a psychospiritually-inclined therapist and emerging multidimensional channel, I am prepared as I know how to be on the front lines of the New Earth!

If you suspect you might be experiencing a spiritual crisis, or aren’t sure and could use a compassionate forum in which to take a good look, my Spiritual Healing specialty might be helpful. And if you think you have had or are currently going through any type of potentially Spiritually Transformative Experience (STE) such as described above, my Support for Extraordinary Experience (SEE) sub-specialty might be just what you need.

All services are available at my home office in Franklin, TN (case by case in the midst of COVID-19) or via Secure Video/Telehealth practically the world over.

Please visit my at Therapy Outside the Box or call me directly to set up a FREE 20 Minute Consult: 615.430.2778. Or, email me at chris@therapyoutsidehtebox.com

Remember, “There’s an Outside the Box Solution to Every Problem.”

Godspeed.

Peace to you and yours,

Chris Hancock, LCSW, ACMHP

Nashville, TN